It's obvious: I've given up on this blog.
I thought I'd try to retire it in some sort of official way, but allowing it to peter out over time seemed somehow more appropriate--in keeping with the way the nation has handled New Orleans, post-Katrina.
Part of me feels like I can't just STOP writing on this blog altogether, but the other part of me is all, "Girl, you crazy. Your job is madness and you don't have TIME to blog, and anyway, you give yourself guilt trips about it, so what's the use in pretending you are a 'real blogger'?"
I'm not a "real blogger."
I am, however, someone who finds that writing things down is an act of thinking--a helpful one at that--and in light of that, I thought I'd post this "To Do List" for the New Year. These are not resolutions, but just things I'd like to accomplish. Sometime.
--Install a raingarden to deal with drainage problems at our new house (Simon had to give me a piggy back to the door on Saturday because of the "moat.")
--Sort out my feelings about my job (and be proactive about what comes next.)
--Survive the retention process in one piece (if not with my job still intact).
--Teach a successful "Early College" course at Rabouin High School (which I've just read is a struggling school, indeed).
--Make more time for creative endeavors.
--Sort out how and what I want to write about Holy Cross.
--Be more active in my neighborhood association.
--Be kind as all getout to my students and coworkers.
--Sort out what to do with this blog.
--Forgive myself for being less than perfect.
One reason I haven't been writing is that I am really HOME now. Our house is beautiful and makes me feel heart-whole. The things that have been giving me pain (which are usually the things that drive me to write) are work-related these days, and the public airing of my teaching grievances seems to be a bad idea. I guess I could find ways of writing through the problems I am having, but part of the problem I am having is that my students seem to be more confrontational these days, and I have already heard from one supervisor that a student read some entry on my blog and complained. (This act is representative of a larger problem I'm seeing: the student-as-customer and teacher-as-customer-service-agent ethos. Don't get me started.)
Hmm... it looks like maybe I do need to write about my work.
Bottom line: happy new year. I'll write or I won't and I am going to be okay with either choice, dammit.
To close: a picture of our home in NOLA snow...